God's Voice in the Midst of Pain

“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pain.” 
― C.S. Lewis

It all started with lower molar #18. I thought the root canal 1-1/2 years ago took care of my intermittent tooth pain. But the throbbing pulse came back every few months. Reluctant to spend more money and time on the issue, I popped an Ibuprofen/Tylenol cocktail for a few days and the pain went away. That is until last week when the pain refused to abate. Nervously, I scheduled an extraction appointment with a periodontist. Normally I have a high tolerance for pain. Born with scoliosis, I’ve had some level of back/hip/IT band pain my entire life. But going to the dentist always freaks me out.

Driving to the appointment, I prayed for courage, strength, and painkillers! A good friend came to lend their support and the dentist said everything went really well. He said I should feel substantially better by the next day. Stabbing pain woke me up several times during the night sending me running for the prescribed painkiller. Early afternoon Dr. Moore called and when I described increased pain and swelling, he told me to come in immediately. My stress level skyrocketed.

The first staff person asked me about my pain level, saying I probably had an infection or abscess and they might have to send me to the hospital! Dr. Moore looked at the extraction site and said everything looked good to him, no problems. His positive words feel on deaf ears. Between the unremitting throbbing pain, lack of sleep and food because I could barely open my mouth to eat, painkillers, and anxiety-provoking people, my body had hit its tolerance limit. My heart began beating like crazy, chills rippled down my body, I felt nauseous and lightheaded. Dr. Moore saw the panic set in and quickly raised the chair so my feet were higher than my head, calling for a nasal oxygen drip. It took almost two hours before I could safely stand up without my BP going crazy.

As a friend drove me home, I didn’t have any more info about my pain than I did that morning. The dentist didn’t see any cause for my level of pain, giving me no idea how long the pain would continue. At that point I desperately needed to hear God’s loving voice over the pain and panic.

Cognitively, we can acknowledge the Bible says God is always with us, that he loves us, and he is able to make everything work for good in our life. Experientially, it's extremely difficult to grasp when pain, anxiety, suffering, fear, grief, etc. are deafening. That’s when the Holy Spirit speaks in a way which amplifies God’s voice if we use our hearts instead of our minds to listen. Practice listening for God’s voice in times of joy and areas of conviction so you know how to tune into its frequency in times of pain and sorrow.

P.S. Returning to see the dentist tomorrow. The swelling’s starting to go down and pain still demands my attention every 5-6 hours, but I am on the mend. My experience was apparently not the norm, but I’m committed to learning from God how to work with my unique body instead of anxiously fighting against it.

Photo used by permission through Creative Commons at http://petesimon.tumblr.com/post/637721075/rip-bad-tooth

Judge Not Someone Else's Servant

The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. Romans 14:2-4 NIV.

“Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?” Paul used very strong language to remind us to keep our eyes on our own papers! There’s a difference between sharing your own testimony and experience with someone and demanding they follow your example or a specified set of actions in order to be seen as a “good Christian.” People and institutions that demand total adherence to one set of beliefs while judging folks who don’t adhere to them are exactly the people Paul was writing against in Romans 14.

I highly appreciate mentoring and general principles for folks to follow as they learn how to have a relationship with God. But the goal is for each person to develop an individual relationship with God where they receive direct guidance. Imagine what the folks in Ur thought when Abraham declared God had called him to start walking to an unknown place?

Abram:  “God’s called me to take all my family and leave dad, mom, my home and my country to go to a new place.”

Neighbor:  “Where are you going?”

Abram:         “I don’t know.”

Neighbor:  “How long will it take?”

Abram:  “I don’t know.”

Neighbor:  “How will you take care of everyone?”

Abram:  “I don’t know. I guess God will provide.”

Neighbor:  “Doesn’t sound like God to me. I think you’re hearing things! Seems really crazy to me to set out on a journey without knowing anything. Stay here, talk to the elders first, take some spiritual discipline classes, and pray about it as you’re teaching Torah classes. Give it a year or two so you can mature and listen to wise counsel. That’s the way we do things here.”

What about crazy old Noah who built an ark when there had been no rain for who knows how long? John the Baptist lived a very odd lifestyle compared to the religious establishment and regular people. Joseph had dreams, Deborah was a judge, Peter left his family fishing business to follow Jesus around the country. Every one of these folks knew they were God’s servants and they heard directly from him for their lives.

God speaks through his Word and other people, but our goal is to separate the wheat from the chaff and focus on what God has directly spoken to our own soul. I may be called to live my life in a very different manner than you. Please ask me what I’m hearing from God rather than condemning me for the differences. Follow God’s voice in your life—even if those around you don’t hear the same word for themselves.

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

Henry David Thoreau