It was my eldest son’s wedding this last weekend. Needless
to say it was hectic gearing up to the special day but after all was said and
done, it was worth every minute of sleep I’d lost. It wasn’t just that it was a
beautiful and memorable event but I also had some time to reflect and learn—hopefully
lessons that would help me become a better parent and the mother God wants me
to be.
Most of you reading this do not know me. So, this is confession
time: I am actually a very difficult person to live with. I strive for
perfection to the 200th degree and I used to be one of those pedantic
people who clean each kitchen counter tile with a toothbrush. So, when my kids
did not measure up I would not only get mad but I‘d be disappointed with them (and
let them know it) and with myself for not keeping up to the high bar I’d raised
for them and for myself. For the first fifteen years of my son’s life I lived
like this. Never mind that my husband kept telling me to chill it. (He’s Mr.
Cool, and I’m Mrs. Hot.) For me, it was give my all, or give nothing at all.
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| Homeschooling with many kids can still be a fun but educational time. |
If you’re anything like me—you’re probably not as bad as I
am—I hope you learn some of life lessons the Lord has taught me these past few
days.
Before the wedding, I had to gather photographs of Michael to
put up on the wall at the wedding hall. We had a chance to go through photographs
of the things we’d done as a family these past twenty years. Memories of my son
Michael as a young child all come ebbing back like the waves that lap the beach
and leave a mark each time they crash into land. Forgive me if I am too
nostalgic here, but I’d learnt much this past week. I learned that time with our
children truly go by so quickly. No, correction, they sprint by us. I remember
the difficult times I’d complained about, about how difficult it was to handle
five children under the age of ten, for instance, but now, if I had to do it
over again, I’d complain less and enjoy them more.
Yes, they would still break precious Waterford crystal
vases, destroy furniture, fight amongst themselves, hurt each other, or themselves,
in accidents, not do their homework—worse!—hide their homework and lie about
having done them. They would still have moments (lots!) of disobedience and
defiance. Oh, and how about setting up a Facebook account and not tell me, and
even lied about their age get the Facebook account? (Personally, I really feel
many bad things have come out of Fb, but that’s another topic altogether.)
All these things would still remain.
But one thing that would not be the same if I could change
back the hands of time and do it all again would be my attitude. I would
consider those moments a season of joy and a privilege that my God has so
entrusted me with. That the God of the universe thought myself fit to shape the
lives of five precious people. I would not to do with them what I think is good
for them, but listen to what God has for them and help them become the best
people God wants them to be. I would get mad less (since it would not be
possible not to be mad at all) and enjoy every second I have with them more,
even if I had to wipe away vomit ever single day.
I see now more and more that those difficult times were not
hard at all if only I’d remembered that Jesus only means the best for us. He
came to this earth as a humble human and died on the cross to give us life and life
more abundantly. ((NIV) John 10:10: The thief
comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life,
and have it to the full)
Even in hardship it is not a bad thing at all—even if it looked
that way. Each troublesome moment was only another chance for us to show the
love of Jesus to them. To show them with our actions and our words the love of
God through Jesus Christ. To exemplify to my children so great a love that HE
is willing to sacrifice himself for us.
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| Michael and Lauren's wedding |
It took me my son’s wedding to learn these things—and more,
which I will share next week. So, as my Michael moves on with his new adventure
I, too, will move forward with what I’d learned, and hopefully apply them to my
relationship with him and his young wife.
All the best my Michael. Learn from your mom’s mistakes, and
try not to let this history to repeat itself in your own life, especially when
you deal with your children. Love them, hug them, cherish them and in this
manner you will show them God’s love for them. And nothing in life can draw
them away from the love of Christ once they can feel this love.
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